


All Hallow's

by scarredsodeep



Category: AFI
Genre: Davey gets passed around, High School, High School AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, When Davey Met Jade, alcohol use, sad davey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-15
Updated: 2003-07-15
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarredsodeep/pseuds/scarredsodeep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High school Jade/Davey slash. Davey's been passed around for years, and it seems as though no one could possibly want him anymore... but Jade does. R for language. Content PG-13. (THIS IS THE FIRST PIECE OF FANFICTION I EVER WROTE. I PUT IT IN A LETTER TO MY PEN PAL AND MAILED IT IN A PINK ENVELOPE. Originally written in the summer of 2003ish.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Hallow's

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Except for the small part of Hunter’s soul I keep in a jar in my room, I do not own AFI. Seeing as God is not as cruel as I am, these events are not true and never happened. Characters not associated with AFI are of my own creation.

Davey had always been the kid who got passed around. He didn’t even remember how, or when, it started… sometime during freshman year, or eighth grade? It had all blurred together over the years. Someone, usually a girl, would approach him in the hall. “I’m having some girlfriends sleep over; be at this address at 11 o’clock tonight.”

And he would come, head hung in the black hood of his Misfits sweatshirt, tears hardly wiped away as the door swung open. Maybe tonight will be different, he’d tell himself. It never was.

Sometimes they’d drink, sometimes they’d make him drink. Sometimes it was one girl, sweet sixteen; other times, it was more.

He hated to talk. He just wanted to get it over with in silence, but girls are chatty. They felt they had to know him first. He felt that by expecting him to fuck them, they knew enough.

But he would. He didn’t do it for money or pleasure, and he got neither.

He did it because he wanted, more than anything, to be loved, to be needed, if only for a little while. But it never was that way.

He kept doing it out of hope that one night, one time, the love would be there. He just wanted that one fleeting moment of being loved, but it never came.

He’d go home, still hollow and agonized, and slowly make a series of small, shallow cuts all up his arms and legs. Every day, he dared the world to notice, to ask.

It did not, and his reputation grew.

The jocks would often find out that he’d slept with their girlfriends, and they’d beat him up, but Davey took it. Fathers sometimes did the same, but Davey didn’t fight back. He liked it. A justification for his misery, or at least that’s how he explained it to Jade.

Jade was his best friend. He’d been his best friend since that first day without Smith and Gibson, that moment when Jade stepped into his house and changed his name, changed his life. There were others- there was Adam- but Adam wasn’t like Jade.

Davey would go to Jade’s house until it was time. They’d play video games, eat pizza, skateboard… he’d mess around on Jade’s guitar, Jade would tease him about his ‘date’, and then he would beg Jade to play one of the songs he’d written.

One day at Jade’s house, Davey was looking for granola bars under Jade’s bed when he found a sheet of music, note penciled in carefully. It was called ‘Damned Angel’, and Davey was positive he’d never heard it. When he slapped it down in front of Jade and demanded to hear it played, Jade blushed all the way down his neck and said, “No, it’s personal.”

“Is it about a girl?” Davey teased.

“No,” said Jade miserably, and something in his voice made Davey drop it.

They played Sega till five-thirty, when Davey had to go.

“Who is it tonight?” Jade asked.

Jade never asked.

Startled, Davey said, “I- I don’t know. Some girl and her sister on Rose.”

Jade smiled sadly. “Want me to pick you up after? It’s supposed to rain tonight.”

“Yeah, okay,” said Davey softly. He gave Jade the address and a time and left quickly.

That night, as hard as he tried not to, he thought about Jade the whole time. In particular, about when Jade had fallen off his bike in sixth grade and broke his arm, the way his giant brown eyes filled with tears, how he let Davey wipe them away and hold him in a way they both knew they could never talk about for the rest of their lives.

As hard as he tried not to, all Davey could think about was Jade, and how holding Jade in his arms made him the happiest he’d ever been.

After, Davey waited outside for Jade to come for almost an hour before he gave up and walked.

Jade had been right about the rain. Why hadn’t he come?  
He never forgot ANYTHING, and especially not Davey.

Davey stood on Jade’s lawn and stared into his open window. He was playing something beautiful on his guitar. Davey left.

The next week was the same as every other week, except things with Jade were wrong. If Davey looked at Jade too long, Jade would start crying and try to pretend he wasn’t. They didn’t talk about anything, just played Sega in silence or had Adam over. They stayed as far away from Jade’s room as possible, and when Davey slipped away and tried the door, it was locked.

On Thursday, Davey didn’t come. He sat in his room instead, and he could hear Jade shredding next door.  
He slammed his window and turned up his stereo as high as it went, but he couldn’t shake the haunting melody from his head.

 

It was Halloween, a little past midnight, and Davey had been with a girl called Melanie Hansen when suddenly everything was so wrong.

What had he done wrong? How had he gotten here, unloved, abused, and covered in scars?

He broke away from Melanie, found his clothes, and ran. She threw a heavy metal bookend at him as he left, and it hit him in the back of his right shoulder. Almost immediately, his arm went numb, and he stumbled forward, splitting open his forehead on a coffee table.

“Softball bitch!” he yelled, and fled.

After a few hours of wandering blindly in the dark, Davey had to admit he was lost and give in to the stabbing pain. He laid down on the sidewalk and decided to wait- for death or first light, whichever came first.

When a blinding white light bore down upon him where he lay, bloody and shivering, he wasn’t sure which it was, but he knew what he wanted it to be.

And then someone was kneeling next to him, begging him to be alive, and he realized the light was coming from the one working headlight of a junkyard Camaro. Even without the ‘Screamin’ Purple’ décor, Davey knew whose car it was.

Slowly he opened his mouth and said, “Leave me. Please.”  
Jade- because it was Jade, was always Jade, should always be Jade- he wished it was always Jade, wanted nothing more than it to always be Jade he was lying next to and he knew it was what he had always wanted- Jade ran his fingers through the drying blood on Davey’s face.

“We’re going home now, Dave,” he instructed quietly, helping- no, forcing- Davey to his feet.

“Leave me,” Davey begged again, staring into Jade’s sad, desolately hopeful eyes. Even as he said it, he knew Jade would never leave him, no matter what he’d done.

He allowed Jade to put him into the affectionately nicknamed Gaymobile and was silent as they drove home.

As they pulled onto the street they lived on, Davey made up his mind. He knew what he wanted, and he needed to know if he could have it, or if he should make his last cut and leave forever.

“Jade,” he asked, “can I stay with you tonight?”

Jade stared straight ahead as he pulled into his driveway. Finally, deliberately, he killed the Gaymobile’s engine of burnin’ love (thank Smith for the terminology) and looked, at last, at Davey.

“First tell me why,” Jade ordered.

Davey knew what he was talking about but didn’t like it. He pretended to misunderstand.

“I don’t want to be alone,” he said, but Jade cut him off.

“No. Why all the girls,” he said.

Davey bit his lip. He was going to cry. Jade didn’t want him. He needed to get home, to end it- but first he had to say goodbye.

He owed Jade an explanation before he went, he decided. “I want to be wanted, to be loved,” he whispered. “They don’t love me,” he continued. “They never have. I just kept hoping… someday someone would love me… but it doesn’t matter now. I’m so sorry, Jade. I was so terrible to you… I’ll miss you.”

Jade said blankly, “This is it, then. You’re going to leave me here.”

“Yeah, buddy. This… is it.”

Jade got out of the hideous car. “Come inside; I want to play you that song first. It’s for you, anyway.”

“Just play it at my funeral,” Davey said.

“No!” Jade slammed the door. “You have to hear it.”

Davey followed him inside, and Jade got out ‘Damned Angel’ and his guitar.

Davey didn’t want to listen, but he did.

If he could have chosen anything in the world to hear his last night on earth, that would still be it. And he’d choose Jade to play it.

When he was done, Jade was crying. “Please stay with me,” he whispered. “I loved you every time they didn’t… I always loved you. Don’t leave me.”

Davey refused to hear what Jade was saying. He couldn’t die if-

“I love you,” Jade insisted, his voice getting louder as his tears came stronger. “I love you, Davey. You looked so hard for someone to love, but it was never me, not after that one time when I broke my arm- but I do, I love you, and I always will- please don’t die tonight-!”

“SHUT UP!” Davey yelled.

Jade took his guitar off and set it on the floor, hands shaking violently. “That’s it, then,” he hissed fiercely, tears running down his face. “You don’t- you aren’t- you’re going-”

And then he had to stop, and turn away, and he sat down on his bed.

He had to wait, but not long. Davey sat down next to him and asked, “Can you clean this out for me?”

Jade looked at his forehead. It was deep and there was blood everywhere, but it probably wasn’t as bad as it looked. He said quietly, “I think so. The cuts on your arms, too, if you’ll let me.”

Davey looked up, shocked and suddenly shy.

“You think I didn’t notice?” Jade asked indignantly. “I’m not an idiot. I care about you, Dave… what kind of retard wouldn’t notice those?”

Then he excused himself to get peroxide, and Davey snuggled his face into Jade’s pillow while he waited. “I love you back,” he confessed to the pillow, but he didn’t need to say it out loud. Not yet, anyway.

It was okay, though.

Jade already knew.

  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.afislash.com/viewstory.php?sid=2712>  



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